(Joey and Ross laughs)
Rachel: I dumped him.
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross:Oh, oh. Oh,oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it’s baby time. Baby
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective
正确地, huh, Mon?
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It’s Paul the Wine Guy!
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just… can’t do it.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others
can’t hear. The others move Monica’s table closer to the door so that
Phoebe, Joey,and Ross: ‘My scones.’
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Monica: Look , I’m sorry, guys, I just don’t wanna give them any
more ammunition（n. information that can be used to attack or defend
a claim or argument or viewpoint） than they already have.
Monica: We’ll talk later.
Chandler:Okay, I don’t sound like that. That is sonottrue.
(Rachel enters from her room.)
[Scene: Barry’s office, Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on
Barry’s lamp as Barry enters.]
Monica: (entering, to herself) Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.
Mr. Geller: …And I read about（read
of，阅读关于…的文章(或书籍)） these women trying to have it
all（adj. 全部的；adv. 全然地；越发；n. 全部；pron. 全部）【金沙澳门官网jin5888】每日更新。, and I
thank God ‘Our Little Harmonica’ doesn’t seem to have that problem.
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there’s only
one woman for everybody, y’know? I mean what if you get one woman- and
that’s it? Unfortunately in my case就我而言, there was only one
woman- for her… a horror film 恐怖片
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s apartment, everyone is watching the tape of
the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Monica: What for?为什么
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Ross: Split it?
Ross: You’re gonna be an aunt.
Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
Rachel: Are you kidding? I’m trained for nothing! I was
laughed out of （sneer）twelve interviews today.
Ross: Of course not, I’m… suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Monica: Who wasn’t invited to the wedding. active
voice主动态短途旅行excursion jaunt outing trip
老友原文：该视频节选自122 TheOne With the Ick Factor
Ross: I- I think they’re great! I, I really do.
Monica: Oh really, so that
hysterical([hɪ’stɛrɪkl]adj.歇斯底里的；) phone call I got from a
woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., “I’ll never have grandchildren, I’ll never
have grandchildren.” was what? A wrong number?
Ross:‘The hills were alive with the soundofmusic.’
Ross: Yeah, and-and it’s not that we don’t like the comedian, it’s
that-that… that’s not why we bought the ticket.
Phoebe: You’re welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I
was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in
prison, and I got here, and I didn’t know anybody. And I ended up
living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside
port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found
aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel【金沙澳门官网jin5888】每日更新。.
(Stunned silence ensues.)
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
Ross: You can see where he’d have trouble.
Joey: That wasn’t a real date?! What the hell do you do on a
Ross: Does she？
Rachel: I did.
[Scene: Carol’s OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Phoebe: (sings) I can’t believe what I’m hearing here…
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement
（ [ɪn’ɡedʒmənt] n a mutual
promise to marry）ring?
Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I’ll just--I’ll be right back, I just
gotta go ah, go ah…
Chandler:I can’tbelive it.
Carol: I’m pregnant.
Joey: I can’t believe what I’m hearing here.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, we’re having spaghetti! That’s…. easy.
Monica: Big time!
(Ross dials anumber on hiscellularphone)
Ross: You are, you’re welling up.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven’t
had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. you, however
have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of
closeness [‘klosnɪs]n. 亲密and sharing at the end of
在……结束时which she ripped your heart out扯掉；撕开, and that is
why we don’t do it! I don’t think that was my point!
Joey:Oh… Yeah,you do.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin’s daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes
a snack) Mmm【金沙澳门官网jin5888】每日更新。! What’s that
curry( [‘kɝi]n(East Indian
cookery) a pungent dish of vegetables or meats flavored with curry
powder and usually eaten with rice) taste?
Ross: I assume we’re looking for an answer more sophisticated than
‘to get you into bed’.
Phoebe:Oh,exellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to
Barry? I can’t stop smiling.
Chandler:That is sonot…That is sonot… That… Oh, shut
Monica: No it’s not.
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
Rachel: I mean, didn’t you think you were just gonna meet somone,
fall in love- and that’d be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Joey: Who’s Paul?
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
Phoebe: Oh no, don’t hate, you don’t want to put that out into the
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Joey:All right,relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be
Monica: I gave you one job!我就给了你一件差事你还干成这样！ (Starts
to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it’s been since
I’ve grabbed a spoon? Do the words ‘Billy, don’t be a hero’ mean
anything to you【金沙澳门官网jin5888】每日更新。?不要当英雄”对你有什么意义吗
Monica: Am not!
Ross: I’ll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she’ll be very
Chandler:What are youtalking about?
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh…遗弃
Ross:(on phone)Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr?is not
here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I’m sure… No, sir. I
don’t perform those kind of services.
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Oh, you’ve got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
(Phoebe andChandler enter)
Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don’t
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me…
Joey: …..Well, this is still ruined, right?
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Rachel: I’m just cleaning up.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and
Barry: No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt.
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel…
(Joey andRoss laughs)
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry…
Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
(Ross’sbeeper goes off)
Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!美腿器
Phoebe: Give her a break, it’s hard being on your own for the first
Rachel: So, got any advice? Y’know, as someone who’s recently
dumped（v sever断绝 all
ties with, usually unceremoniously随便地 or irresponsibly）?
Joey: You should both know, that he’s a dead man 他是死的. Oh,
Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he’s doing? He knows
no-one’s gonna say all those names, so they’ll wind up calling her
Geller, then he gets his way!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just
two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler:Noho. Who doesn’t they like me?
Joey: (pause)….Are we still talking about sex?
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It’s her wedding day!
(They go to hug but Ross’s umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated
again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect
her to explain.)
Joey:(reaches for his scones) My scones.
Ross: Got me.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Alright, when’d’ya have it on last?
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don’t
know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I’m still
gonna be a father.
Joey: Right. Thanks. It’s June. I’m outta here. (Exits.)
Phoebe:Yeah, yeah.They even do you.
All: Yeah. Yeah. A little.
Chandler: Okay, so, I’m in Las Vegas… I’m Liza Minelli-
Ross: …As in Mouse?
Joey:Hey, hey.How was the first day?
Chandler: You don’t get a lot of ‘doy’ these days…
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel
and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and-
something with mittens… La la la la…something and noodles with
string. These are a few…
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha)
are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave
Paul: Well, you might try accidentally[,æksə’dɛntli]adv.
意外地；偶然地 breaking something valuable of hers, say her-
Ross:(on phone)Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that’s right. That’s
right, JUMBO with a U, sir.(pause) No, belive me, you don’t want me.
Judging by his number, I’d be a huge disappointment. (pause) All
rightie, bye bye.
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
(Monica stomps on Paul’s watch and goes into her room.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself,
and then I realised I didn’t need it, so I balled it up（make a
mess of, destroy or ruin） and… (sees that Monica is glaring at
him) …now I wish I was dead.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.]
Phoebe:No, I didn’t tell anybody that I knew you.
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing) Monica. What do
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica
and Paul are still eating.]
Ross: (standing outside the door)…..Hi.
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of 避开；绕开you.
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this
belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Monica: Chandler, you’re an only child, right?你是独子？ You
don’t have any of this.
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!（buzz vi. 作嗡嗡声 n.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about,
um.. how about Julia?
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Ross: Thank you!
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a
hammer and it collapses.)
(Phoebe, Joeyand Ross laugh)
Monica: There’s nothing to tell! He’s just some guy I work
Phoebe: Y’know, it’s even worse when you’re twins.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at
the altar（ [‘ɔltɚ]n a
raised structure on which gifts or sacrifices to a god are made）...
Ross: That only took me an hour.
Chandler: I don’t know, but.. I think it’s about to attack the
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Chandler:I don’t sound like that.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We
weren’t happy. But with Mindy, now I’m happy. Spit.
Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise
Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of
holy matrimony [‘mætrɪmoni]n.
Ross: Well, you may wanna
steer(v direct (oneself)
somewhere) clear of 避开 the word ‘dumped’.
Chances（n a possibility due
to a favorable combination of circumstances） are he’s gonna be this,
this broken shell贝壳 of a man痛不欲生, y’know, so you should try
not to look too
terrific（[tə’rɪfɪk] adj extraordinarily
good or great ; used especially as intensifiers）, I know it’ll be
hard. Or, y’know, uh, hey!, I’ll go down there, and I’ll give Barry back
his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN…
Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck!
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for
(shoot at, v have an ambitious
plan or a lofty goal)the stars设立远大目标, with his museum, and his
papers getting published（表达很好）. Other people are satisfied
with staying where they are安于现状– I’m telling you, these are the
people who never get cancer.
Ross: The word you’re looking for is ‘Anyway’…
Phoebe: She’s a waitress.
Joey:Would youlet it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn’t
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but,
were you planning on(vt. 打算，计划 )bringing up(If you bring up a
particular subject, you introduce it into a discussion or
conversation) the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might
take some of the heat off me.减轻一点我的压力。
Chandler: ‘Look, Gippetto, I’m a real live boy.’
Barry: Careful! They haven’t quite taken yet.
Chandler: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Paul, was it?
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I’m just gonna hang
out here tonight. It’s been kinda a long day.艰难一天
Phoebe:Everyone.Except for uh… no everyone.
Chandler: That is amazing.
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y’know?
Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, ‘hat’ thing.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don’t think so.
All: Yeah. Yeah, I’ll have a cup of coffee.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
Monica: How do you do that?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol’s favorite
beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it’s
broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y’know, if you listen
closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that’s not how you look for an
engagement ring in a
lasagne（ [ləˈsɑnjə] n baked
dish of layers of lasagna 烤宽面条 pasta with sauce and cheese and meat
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with
Andrea–Angela–Andrea… Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Chandler: Oh, God.
(Phoebe, Joeyand Ross laughs)
Ross: Me either… (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn’t have to
move his hand.)
Joey: Which goes where?
Monica: That’s because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross
can do no wrong. Y’see, he’s the Prince.
Apparently（ad [ə’pærəntli] adv from
appearances alone）they had some（[sʌm;səm]） big ceremony
before I was born.
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Ross: There’s an image.
Ross: No no no, go-
Chandler:They do me?
Joey: Oh, you wouldn’t know a great butt if it came up and bit
Phoebe:Oh, because,you know… they don’t like you.
Susan: Look at that.
Monica: I know, he’s just so, so… Do you remember you and Tony
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing(n. [生理] 吞咽) slowed me
down.(v. cause to proceed more slowly) They also help people
who want to modify accents or who have swallowing difficulties
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Rachel: I’m gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Marsha: He’s out banging [bæŋ]other women over the head
with a club (指在跟别的女人鬼混), while she sits at home trying
to get the mastodon [‘mæstə,dɑn]乳齿象 smell out of the
carpet（[‘kɑrpɪt]vt. 在…上铺地毯：n. 地毯）!去除味道
Monica: What? I-I said you had a-
Ross:Oh, oh Chandler…
Barry: Yeah! It’s fine, it’s fine. Robbie’s gonna be here for hours.
Chandler: Yes, please don’t spoil all this fun.
Ross: Well… you never know. How’s, um.. how’s the family?
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there’s a phone… there.
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God…. (Starts to
look under the couch cushions.)
[Scene: Ross’s Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are
working on some more furniture.]
Phoebe:You know like… uh okay… uh… ‘Could that reportbeany
Monica: No Mom, I don’t have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Chandler:See, it paysto know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and
Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Frannie: You had sex, didn’t you?
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into适应 this whole thing?
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Joey:Services?(Ross looks at him) Oh, services.
Ross: (entering) Sorry I’m late, I was stuck（a. something that’s
frozen or fixed in one place and can’t be moved. ） at work. There was
this big dinosaur [ˈdaɪnəˌsɔr].. thing.. anyway.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an ‘L’-shaped
Marsha: Speaking of issues, isn’t that your ex-wife?
Rachel: Barry, I’m sorry… I am so sorry… I know you probably
think that this is all about what I said the other day几天以前 about
you making love with your socks on, but it isn’t… it isn’t, it’s about
me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi,
machine [mə’ʃin]n. 机械，机器 cut me off 切断again…
anyway…look, look, I know that some girl is going to be
incredibly[ɪn’krɛdəbli] lucky 非常幸运to become [ˈmɪsɪz]Mrs.
Barry Finkel, but it isn’t me, it’s not me. And not that I have any
idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance
too…可用于分手 (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Monica: W-w-wh-… wha-… w-w-w-…
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had
a thing for you,对……有强烈的好感 didn’t she?
Paul: So you still think you, um… might want that fifth date?
Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi.
Joey: You got screwed. [skru] vt. 旋，拧；压榨；强迫
Ross: Aw, Mom…
Ross: You got a job?
Phoebe:I thought you knew that.
Chandler: The problem is, though, aftert he concert’s over, no
matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the
comedian ([kə’midɪən] a. professional performer who tells jokes
and performs comical acts) again, y’know? I mean, we’re in the car,
we’re fighting traffic… basically just trying to stay awake.
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating（[‘fɪkset]） on
that? She didn’t know, how should I know?
Phoebe:Don’t feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But
then you got promoted, and, you know, now you’re like “Mr. Boss Man”.
You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing,”Boss Man Bing”.
Carol: Give me a ‘for instance’.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the
ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way-
y’know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I’m not, I can’t do-
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a lie!
Rachel: You’re twins?
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: You- uh- y’know what, I’m gonna go. I don’t- I don’t think I
can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Chandler: All finished!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyone is sitting around the kitchen
table. Rachel’s credit cards are spread out on the table along with a
pair of scissors.]
Ross: D’ya.. uh.. Do you need any help?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good
shake. So, uh, we’re just waiting for…?
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Monica: What’s that supposed to mean?
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can’t believe you didn’t know it
was a lie!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe…
Carol: Marty’s still totally paranoid（ n./v.
an irrational and obsessive distrust of others）. Oh, and, uh-
Joey: Here’s a little tip, she really likes it when you
rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until
it starts to get a little red.